Julian Caballero

Archive for May, 2009|Monthly archive page

mydream/yourwill

In Uncategorized on May 3, 2009 at 6:26 am

This poem came out of me today. I have no way of describing it well. You just have to read it I suppose.


And even though there is no time I still can’t help but hope there is
time for a revision and time for tea
time for you and some for me
But the sea and the waves and the light
have all blown further away, out of sight
out of mind, to a place far…far behind
the limits of my kind
And yet on land I am not grounded
I am awash, drifting, bounded
by my thoughts and dreams
all yet unsounded, unfounded
and chemically confounded.
This is me, unhappily me.
There is no cure for such as me
I am my worst enemy
I wish to be someone I cannot be
And I hope someone someday somewhere
will accept me for the helpless man all day I wear
And I hope that someone to be me!
but THAT is utter vanity
And I hope that someone to be she!
but THAT is utter vanity
I cannot claim the one I want
She changes day to day, in every way,
I need some help
I need some peace from myself
And so I am left with time my mortal friend and foe
the hand of God for which there is no show
My life flows a-sway, away from me

into the depths of liquid deep

out of me and out to sea.

The mermaids dress of kelp
is all I have, a meaningless judgement
is all I give to you, myself, and God.
A phantom washing himself with pride
believing he will find
a corresponding path or stream or road
to follow to pour out his blood his life and soul
and for that to have some kind of overwhelming tone and brilliant shine and resounding song!
Such is my dream and if it be then let it be
and if not, then not, but change me
change me into something good
something whole something should
be bold atop the waves with sails all out screaming straight into the sun, into the heart, into light!

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