Julian Caballero

Archive for April, 2010|Monthly archive page

Honest Time

In Uncategorized on April 21, 2010 at 6:28 am

What is the point at which all things converge?

Where is the place at which the seas submerge?

When is time?

Why does it stay… away… from me?

And why does no body,

not even the Pope,



all this

mish mash


Who says that up is up?

Who says blue is blue?

Who says the sky is falling?

Who told you?

Who told you the truth?

Was it the wind sweeping down through the grass?

Was it the sun warming up the earth?

Was it the waters bubbling?

Was it the rains fall?

Or maybe it was Man:

Hammering down the iron

Pulling up the gold

Building barriers

Blocking briars

Smelting silver

Sheltering sinners.

Perhaps, but perhaps not.

“Perhaps” is a funny word.

Perhaps the sun will set and never rise.

Perhaps the ocean will finally be filled.

Perhaps the birds forget to fly.

Perhaps this is all a lie,

a beautiful lie.

But perhaps not.

Perhaps it’s all true.

Perhaps me and you.

Perhaps it’s true.

True, me and you.

True, my heart is blue.

True, I love you.

True, that roses are red

True, that I am a fool.

True, that trust has bleed-


True, out into a small pool

Beneath your pillow

Waiting all wet and tired

For a final billow

Of fire

A fire to steam up

A fire to stream out

A fire to burn through

A fire to melt down

A fire to meld together

Our fallen flesh and fate forever.

Where is Honest Time when you need him?



In Uncategorized on April 14, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Rounding the bend on a winding road

Stop the engine pull on your coat

we’re looking for a way on the Oregon Coast.

First, the wind

Greets as it freshens my face and

moistens my eyes

Coming from a place that is wild and wide.

Sand meets feet with a plea to play

A ploy of great plot I cannot disobey

Shoe and sock free, I’m released as just me.

Water and waves are the call to the deep

Transfix my eyes on that line

And transcend with a reach.

Out to the impossible?

Or into the real?

Is the ocean of change actually even keeled?

Always the same body

but ever the motion of change

Surprised yet again by the ocean which explains.

I Am

In Uncategorized on April 9, 2010 at 3:58 am

To start is to make a wager

To wager is to believe something

Either about oneself or about some other

To lose is to be wrong

To win is to be right

I am neither

Because I am both

I am both guilty and free

Guilty of death

And Free to life

But beyond these

I am honest

Therefore I cannot win nor lose

Because honesty is not a game

It is not a wager

It is not even a start

It is a complete movement

It is a beginning middle end

And it is both permanent and fleeting

It’s existence does not change

But it’s vessel does

The instrument in which honesty abides

Is a shamefully organic thing

It’s words and it’s actions are unsound

It’s thoughts and it’s emotions are betraying

They betray because they are not real

And because they are not real

they can only be used as evidence of growth

Towards something good

Because this good already is

This is the essence of it’s being

This is the Telos and is the Word

This can-is-will be

This is what I believe

This is what I want

And this is all that I am

Do you want this?

Because if you do then take it

And do not disbelieve but believe

I am who I am

My Subjective Eternal Infinite Ethical Love

In Uncategorized on April 8, 2010 at 8:19 am

My Subjective Eternal Infinite

Ethical love and I fight

We suffer each others plight

Each others non-secure

Freedom fleeting suture

It tears and tears us apart

And waits for us to start

Then tears some more

All the while licking up the time we pour

Out into each others hate

Anger fear spite and all too late

Nothing left but red faces filled with our pain and love

Filled with a void

Filled with a heart of elastic points leading to leap

Out into that darkness we call light

Into the wretched abyss of acceptance

And the ephemeral waters of repentance

We do this with our lives

Because there is nothing else worth to do

Our emotions sag

Our reason will fail and a stag

Will hail us with his song

And bring us home to each other

In the night

The night of temptation

The night of replacement

The night of withering heights

So great is the fall

Into those familiar arms

Into those eyes

Into those legs

Into those breasts

Into those…into those…into those emotions and reasons and material and spirit and self

The self that I love

The self that I need

The self that is and is not me

The self that I wish to be and wish to have

The self that is curling up like smoke above my shoulder

The self that is a stranger

And even though I told you when I came I was a stranger

I take it all back

I take it and drown it in a sack

Infanticide is my road to Faith

Abraham Issac and Jesus Christ my Wraith